Over the years since my #SuperGorgeSingleGirlsGuide, several readers have emailed me about “my Mr. Big.” I talked about this guy I dated and equated him to Chris Noth’s character from “Sex And The City.” One reader “canceled” me because she couldn’t believe I was carrying on an affair with a married man. Another asked me for advice because she was in “a similar situation.” I dismissed some of them as miscommunication and others I briefly addressed in some subsequent blogs. But recently someone asked me how I feel now being married and having cheated with a married man in the past. And a few months before I launched this blog, someone asked me about “___________’s” GIRLFRIEND. Girlfriend??!! *Soulja Boy voice* I’m not here to judge, and trust, I have my own crosses to carry, but dating a committed guy is not one them. If you’re disliking or judging me, at least let it be from my actual factual bullshit and tomfoolery. 😩😂 My fellow SATC fans know about Carrie and Big. They know about the inconsistency, the confusion, the mixed messages and also the infidelity. So let’s dive in; my comparison to John James “Mr. Big” Preston was about the rocky relationship, the passion and ultimately, the toxicity...NOT THE INFIDELITY. There was no wife/girlfriend. There was no “can you be quiet real quick?” once his phone rang. There was no, “oh I can’t make it, we have family dinner.” Never happened. Have I lied? Yes. Have I misled? Misjudged? Jumped to conclusions? Been disrespectful? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Have I cheated with a committed man? No. 

So. Let me back up...we alllll have been judged by other people. And to be very honest, I’d be willing to bet, we all judge. We’ve all assumed before, even if it’s not something we do as often in present time. I know I’ve had preconceived notions about people that were simply untrue and WRONG. Yes, I’m a person that believes in vibes and instincts, but that doesn’t mean I know one’s life story. I’ll say this, I’m a self proclaimed “girl’s girl.” I’m all about women’s empowerment and pussy power. 🌸✊🏽 So when I was prematurely judged in middle school, I was genuinely confused because that’s not how I was raised. I let people show me who they are before I decide anything about them. And I certainly never believed or had an issue with that whole “she thinks she’s cute” thing. So silly! YOU SHOULD THINK YOU’RE CUTE! But anywhoo, that was my first lesson in misconceptions. Then throughout high school and my early adult years, I grew even more stumbled hearing women say, “I don’t like girls.” “I don’t have good experiences with women.” “All of my friends are guys.” That ALWAYS rubbed me wrong. But I also believe in, “to each his/her own.” The older I got, and more maxed out my “fucks to give” card got, I kinda let it go. What people thought “was above me.” Lol.

As I’ve said before, in high school and college, I always considered myself a very private person. However, that wasn’t really the truth; it was something I talked to a girlfriend about and immaturely felt like it sounded good. It was great for her, but I was a natural born extrovert and just needed the right way to express it. *insert IAmSuperGorge.com* My friend asked me to do a blog with her and overtime it became less about entertainment news and more about our personal lives. First thought: “I’m TOO PRIVATE FOR THIS”..but after my 4th or 5th post, I realized I had something to say, a voice to be heard, and it just started pouring out. I honestly loved it! It was cathartic and it helped me connect to all of you. I believe we’re here to bless one another and everyone’s gifts vary. One of mine is sharing my experiences and reaching other people to say, “hey I’m human too. It’s okay to fall and to fuck up.” In this day of reality television and social media I think we’re learning that more and more. But the point is, IT’S AN EXPERIENCE, a human experience, connectivity. Your story alone isn’t going to be enough to FEEL, to LEARN FROM. Think about all of those love songs that got you through that tough breakup. That singer/songwriter was your helping hand in that moment and to me, that’s what it’s all about.

All of that said, with the public sharing of your personal life, come the opinions. Trust me, I appreciate and respect all of you for your time and consistency with me since social media’s infancy and my original blog, but I do not care if you “like me” or “agree with my choices.” Such is life. I know none of us are perfect and if we’re blessed with the opportunity to fix a mistake and start again, that’s enough for me. I tell people often, I give others grace because I need grace. We all need understanding, compassion, forgiveness and love. Life has taught me this more than it’s taught me anything else. But, what I love equally is CLARITY. Lol.
I want to end this saying, I know everyone’s journey is individualized. I also understand that a lot of our lessons create casualties in other people. So, just because I haven’t cheated with a married man, it doesn’t make me innocent. I can name many people who I’ve loved, who have been hurt by me. I’m not here to judge anyone’s life or experiences. The ultimate goal is to become the very best version of ourselves and you can’t do that if you live “a perfect life.” The only way to appreciate the sun is to experience the rain. 
-Lo