In 2015, the feminine product brand Always won a Primetime Emmy Award for “Outstanding Commercial.” Well deserved! The campaign was called #LikeAGirl. The commercial starts with these words on the screen, “What does it mean to do something “LIKE A GIRL?”” They ask several people, both adolescent boys and girls how to run, fight, and throw “like a girl.” They begin making whining noises and half ass motions. They turn on this flighty, distracted performance and even act out what it looks like to give up. Finally, a younger girl comes onto the screen and is asked the same thing. She starts to run FOR REAL. Another little girl says, it means “run as fast as you can.” They report that “a girl’s confidence plummets during puberty. Always wants to change that.” They then cut to these words, “WHEN DID IT BECOME AN INSULT TO DO SOMETHING LIKE A GIRL?” And I think that’s a damn good question.
Obviously, history has shown us that the root of this would take much longer than I have to spend on the topic in this one blog, but the problem is a deep seeded one and it’s very sad. Gender roles are a part of the issue. Double standards. Absentee parents. Slavery. Ignorance. Marginalization. Disrespect. Power. Abuse. Poor communication. Lack of decency, morals, and self-esteem. But I digress. For me, it’s not necessarily HOW we got here, but what can we DO to stop it going forward? Most of my readers and my friends are women and they are mothers, providers, doctors, lawyers, writers, athletes, entertainers, business owners, and they deserve respect. They are not “like a girl.” They ARE WOMEN, who WERE GIRLS. Women who make the world spin.
Whenever anyone, especially a man says someone is “acting like a girl,” and just as annoying but maybe even more puzzling, “acting like a pussy,” I’m pretty confused. Last time I checked “my pussy” pushed out a 9 pound baby. When someone calls you a pussy, they’re saying you’re NOT strong. They’re calling you weak, cowardly, dramatic, messy and/or irritating. How is this a thing???? Pussies are cool enough to have a clitoris, which is the only organ in humans that is highly debated to have the sole purpose of pleasure. If that’s not bossy, I don’t know what is. Seems to me like “a pussy” is something you’d WANT TO BE. After all, it bares the children, and gets back to business, (thanks King Bey for the reminder). But somehow we’re stuck with the whack/weak labels? We are blamed for “breaking up homes,” “being whores,” and even if two men are arguing and there isn’t one woman in sight, it’s fairly certain you’ll hear someone say, “y’all acting like some girls.” What does that bullshit even mean? It’s an outdated stereotype that will not be tolerated. Not around me...
If being “like a girl” is weak and scared, what is “LIKE A BOY?” Strong, tough, aggressive? Nope. That sounds like hypermasculinity, which has no room in my house, with my son. Example. We ran into a guy friend of mine when my son was about 10 months old. At the time CJ had a teething giraffe named Sophie. (Y’all Moms know Soph. Lol!) The guy could not understand why I wouldn’t immediately change the name to “a boy’s name, something masculine.” It literally comes pre-named! It’s name is Sophie. Period. He can’t have a friend named Sophie??! Why? Another example, people comment on how handsome he is and say, “Girl!!! You’re gonna have to watch out for him; he’s gonna be a heartbreaker!” No! That’s not cute. He’s a baby! We’re already giving him a pass to break hearts and to mistreat women. Stop it. He can have friends named Sophie, he can play with kitchen sets AND fire trucks. He can be attractive AND respectful.
I carried the baby and breast fed him because biologically, that’s just how it goes. And some would argue that it’s the way God intended, that “the man makes the bacon and women cook it.” But I don’t completely agree. In this house we determine what works for us. We split up our schedule for cooking, cleaning, and free time. When my husband cooks it’s not because HE’S A “GOOD MAN.” It’s because HE HAS TO EAT! And all of those church aunties who told me I better learn to cook or I’ll never find a man were a bold faced (misinformed) lie! *pops gum* We have so much to unlearn. I chose to stay at home with our son because I didn’t like my job anymore and it was time to move on. I decided I wasn’t going back “to work” until it was my passion. It had nothing to do with gender roles.
We get a say, in our homes, in our lives. We DO NOT BELONG TO YOU. #TimesUp and #MeToo movements are wonderful starts, and two steps forward. These abortion bans are two steps back. Educate yourself, change the narrative that we’re inadequate and irrational. And don’t tolerate the disrespect, not in your day-to-day. Not in the laws. These government officials deciding what you do with your body is not acceptable. The less we know, the closer we’ll be to the real life “Handmaid’s Tale.” So don’t worry about “being like a girl.” BE INFORMED and wear that shit like a badge of honor.
Lastly...just a ki I saw on social media last week, “if it was Eve who took the apple from the serpent, and women are to blame, why are men walking around with Adam’s lying ass apple in their throats?” Don’t believe the narrative y’all.🥴
(Click HERE to view one of the commercials to the ALWAYS campaign. Love this message!!!)
-Lo
